#37: Jesse Eisenberg, you will be dealt with

Death By Consumption 1/14/25 - 1/20/25 I don't know about you, but I am loving how cheap eggs are today. It's just so good to know that finally power is back where it belongs: in the hands of white crypto scammers. Over

#36: BLEAKNESS ABOUNDS

Death By Consumption 1/7/25 - 1/13/25 The past few days, as I watched Los Angeles burn from afar, destroying homes and lives and places I've loved, while texting friends for updates on when they were deciding to flee, it finally set in: oh fuck,

#35: Nominate Nosferatu for Best Comedy, you cowards

Death by Consumption 12/24/24 - 1/6/25 I did not expect this, but my biggest question so far in the new year is: should I watch Emilia Pérez? It sounded stupid and I had zero interest, but then it won a baffling amount of awards at the

#34: The 2024 Consumpties

Death By Consumption 2024-2024 Considering today is conveniently the last day of the year, rather than a usual look at what I consumed all week (mostly wine and baked goods), I figured why not do a look back at the whole year? This was the first year of Death by

#33: A Week in Wales

Death By Consumption 12/17/24 - 12/23/24 It’s Christmas Eve! Did you know that? But I hope you’re not even reading this for another week or so — this is not a time for EMAILS. Honestly, I think they should forcibly shut Gmail down from now

#32: “Happy Christmas, mate!” - me all week

Death By Consumption 12/10/24 - 12/16/24 I am writing this from a Welsh pub, so this might be an absolute mess. We’ll see! Honestly, I can’t believe I’m getting anything out at all. I was in London for most of the week for

#31: Who's scarier: Tom Ripley or Andy Cohen?

Death By Consumption 12/3/24 - 12/9/24 Does anyone have any gift ideas? I'm struggling to think of or purchase anything this year, and with only two weeks left until Christmas, I should be buying gifts for people, but instead I'm spending my

#30: I saw the big famous movies (not you, Moana)

Death By Consumption 11/26/24 - 12/2/24 Just my opinion, but I don't think Thanksgiving should be allowed to happen that late in November. You're eating turkey one minute, and suddenly it's December? No. I reject it. And then what'

#29: Holding space for giving thanks

Death By Consumption 11/19/24 - 11/25/24 Because of procrastination, I didn’t get tickets to see either of the sold-out huge movies over the weekend. Instead, I saw a movie everyone stopped talking about a couple weeks ago. You are witnessing a marketing and SEO genius

#28: In my documentary era

Death By Consumption 11/12/24 - 11/18/24 I lied last week — I keep learning the names of all the little freaks Trump is appointing. In my defense, this is all happening against my will! The media keeps pushing these people's faces into my various social