#47: The Telepathy Tapes isn’t even one of the better scams

Death By Consumption 3/25/25 - 3/31/25 My Cali journey has unexpectedly continued into a second week, as I had to last-minute cancel a planned weekend in Montreal and instead stuck around in San Diego, where I enjoyed the classic California experience of feeling like shit in

#46: Vacation mode: on

Death by Consumption 3/18/25 - 3/24/25 Hello from San Diego, where I’m spending the week visiting family, having one of those things called a “beach vacation,” where things like writing and thinking and having opinions go to die. So who knows what’s going to

#45: Am I dumb or is Severance dumb?

Death By Consumption 3/11/25 - 3/17/25 I don't think we should be allowed to have such beautiful weather when such horrible shit is happening all the time. It's real "Springtime for Hitler" vibes right now. Walking around the city, feeling

#44: Meghan Markle, Duchess of Bees

Death By Consumption 3/4/25 - 3/10/25 Not to take it to a place of Covid right off the bat, but today marks, insanely, 5 years since it was declared a pandemic. Doesn't that feel like much longer ago? Surely five years isn't

#43: Je suis Emilia Pérez

Death By Consumption 2/25/25 - 3/3/25 I did it. In the nick of time, I finally watched Emilia Pérez, a grueling process that literally took me three days. I started it on Saturday but felt so overwhelmed that, 30 minutes in, I had to turn it

#42: Cher should start a newsletter

Death By Consumption 2/18/25 - 2/24/25 Forgive me for sounding like your most boring coworker but: how are we already two months into the year? I guess time really flies when a plane crashes every day. This week, I really spent a lot of time grappling

#41: The Oscar-nominated live action shorts almost killed me

Death By Consumption 2/11/25 - 2/17/25 It's one thing that we're constantly bombarded by news stories involving Elon Musk, but is it too much to ask to not also get frequent updates on his penis? First we're forced to hear

#40: I may have harassed Bruce Campbell

Death By Consumption 2/4/25 - 2/10/25 After a Week of Rest and Relaxation, post-ablation, it's very exciting to be, like, ambulatory. Still, there are restrictions — I can't quite walk at New York City speed without triggering a heart flutter, which is proving

#39: I had heart surgery, give me attention

Death By Consumption 1/28/25 - 2/3/25 I am currently recovering from — as I must admit I have enjoyed dramatically saying all week — some minor heart surgery. I had an ablation at the end of last week, which the doctors and nurses assured me was routine and

#38: Bob Dylan was the Rita Ora of his time

Death By Consumption 1/21/25 - 1/27/25 January should be illegal. Flop month, flop weather, flop president, flop country. I feel like there must have been a time when January content was stuff like "10 cozy hot chocolate pairings to snuggle up with!" and now