Danny Gottleib

It's a miracle I even survived this past week. My high school best friend came to visit NYC for the first time since we were teenagers (shoutout to the extremely toxic 2004 drama club field trip!!!!!), chaotically arriving on a Monday and leaving on a Friday. And during

Death By Consumption 7/22/25 - 7/28/25 I know I complained about the heat last week, but, girl: the heat! Would you believe me if I said our ConEd bill for the month was $450?!?! Four hundred and fifty dollars! For electricity! Luigi Mangione, I have another

Death By Consumption 7/15/25 - 7/21/25 I guess summer in New York is now just going to be 100 degrees most days, forever? Every day, my phone alerts me that a heatwave is in effect until, say, 8pm on Tuesday, and then at 9pm on Tuesday

Death By Consumption 7/8/25 - 7/14/25 The return from vacation hit hard this week, with work piling on bullshit (I will never not be annoyed at being asked to do my actual job? At work??? Grow up), so the only major consumption I was able to

Death By Consumption 7/1/25 - 7/7/25 I’m writing this on a plane, swaddled in the loving bosom of Delta’s very last row, returning to NY after a week in Wisconsin. Going straight from Fire Island to my parents’ house was a rough transition — seeing

Death By Consumption 6/24/25 - 6/30/25 Death By Consumption is on vacation mode, as we’ve spent the week on Fire Island. Which means today‘s email is shorter than usual. Because vacation isn’t for EMAILS, it’s for waking up saying, “I need to

Death By Consumption 6/17/25 - 6/23/25 (Is the word "dick" in the subject line going to send this to spam? We're about to find out!) It is the surface of the sun outside, which means Cuomo voters should stay inside and practice

Death By Consumption 6/10/25 - 6/16/25 Can anyone help me figure out if it's a bad thing that our dementia-addled diaper-wearing President vaguely threatened to nuke a city of 10 million people in the middle of the night? That seems really bad! I'

Death By Consumption 6/3/25 - 6/9/25 It's just so interesting that so many people always want to support a protest, if only it were done in the right way. Black Lives Matter used divisive slogans. Columbia protestors were, I don't know, ruining

Death By Consumption 5/27/25 - 6/2/25 Last week, my therapist casually suggested that I read so many books to avoid "being inside your own story," and compared it to the way alcoholics drink to shut off their own minds. LOL it was very rude